I still remember the phone call.
The owner on the other end was furious — loud, profane, and looking for someone to unload on.

I happened to be the unlucky junior architect who picked up the phone that day. I had nothing to do with the issue he was upset about, but I let him speak. When he was finished, I calmly laid out a plan to resolve the problem. Something changed in that moment. He never raised his voice to me again — and he never wanted to work with anyone else. We still keep in touch today.

Professionalism didn’t make the conflict disappear. It made the relationship durable.

And this week, as I read through the lawsuit filed against Disney by Validus — specifically, the allegations of harassment and abuse toward its CEO — I was reminded how far some owners drift from this basic standard.

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The Problem: When Power Turns into Permission

In the Validus lawsuit, several allegations describe a pattern of owner-side verbal abuse, intimidation, and personal attacks. According to the complaint, Disney representatives:

• Used derogatory, demeaning characterizations toward the Validus CEO during project discussions.

• Delivered profanity-laden reprimands during meetings and calls.

• Made personal, belittling remarks unrelated to performance or scope.

• Created a hostile environment by escalating routine project disagreements into confrontational exchanges.

• Used their position as a major client to pressure and demean, rather than to collaborate and resolve issues.

Whether or not these claims are ultimately proven, the behavior described reflects something I have seen repeatedly in my own career advising owners:
When an organization is large, powerful, or iconic, some leaders conclude — consciously or not — that normal rules don’t apply to them.

I’ve heard versions of this many times:

“We’re [major Fortune 100 company]. They’ll do what we say if they want the work.”
“They should be grateful we even let them bid.”
“They know we’re the biggest account they’ll ever get.”

And while the behaviors I’ve seen have never reached the level described in this complaint, the attitude is familiar.

But here’s the truth:
Being the biggest player in the room doesn’t give you permission to abandon professionalism. It increases your responsibility to uphold it.

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What’s Really Missing

Projects don’t go off course because someone didn’t yell loud enough.
They go off course when:

• communication collapses,

• trust erodes,

• scope clarity disappears, and

• collaboration turns adversarial.

The moment an owner raises their voice, delivers personal insults, or uses their power to intimidate, they’re no longer managing performance —
they’re damaging the very conditions required to fix performance.

Nothing in the lawsuit’s allegations — disagreements about scope, cost, timing, or safety — required abusive conduct.
Every issue cited could have been resolved through structured professional process.

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Five Steps Owners Can Use to Correct a Project Without Crossing the Line

1. Reset the Relationship With a Structured Issue Review

Stop the emotional escalation and put everything on paper: milestones, deliverables, constraints, and change drivers.
A disciplined review exposes root causes faster than confrontation.

2. Clarify Roles, Decisions, and Communication Protocols

When people don’t know who decides what, frustration spikes.
Owners must define the escalation path, meeting cadence, and documentation standards — calmly, clearly, and consistently.

3. Address Performance Gaps Objectively

If a contractor or consultant is struggling, cite the contract, the KPIs, and the facts.
Avoid personal assessments and stick to project impacts.
Facts correct behavior — insults do not.

4. Use Contractual Mechanisms, Not Emotional Pressure

Contracts contain performance notices, cure periods, documentation procedures, and remedies for a reason.
When owners abandon these tools and resort to intimidation, they strengthen the other party’s legal position and weaken their own.

5. Maintain a Professional Tone Regardless of Circumstances

Professionalism is not a reward for good performance; it is a discipline that protects the project, the team, and the owner’s credibility.
You can disagree firmly without demeaning.
You can demand accountability without attacking.

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GOA’s Perspective

At GOA, we’ve worked with hundreds of organizations — from global Fortune 100s to small regional institutions.
When large owners stay professional, structured, and fair, projects stabilize.
When they drift into emotional control, ego, or intimidation, even high-performing consultants begin to withdraw, protect themselves, or disengage.

We’ve seen owners regain 10–15% performance efficiency simply by standardizing communication protocols and eliminating unproductive escalation habits.

Being the largest organization in the room doesn’t entitle you to abandon professionalism.
It obligates you to model it.

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Closing Thought & Engagement

Regardless of the situation — and regardless of your position in the relationship — there is always a civil way to manage conflict.
Professionalism isn’t about being polite. It’s about protecting your project, your reputation, and your team’s ability to solve problems.

How do you address tension on your projects?
What signals tell you an owner–contractor relationship is starting to drift?
Have you seen power imbalance hurt project outcomes?